Ha! It was a breeze… I finally was able to fool some people to hire me. I flew in on Wednesday to commence work with what I thought were people who should be on the runway instead of the cube. I found out later that they were indeed models. Wow! That makes me the only non-gorgeous entity in the office and it makes me feel special.

The company paid for my hotel accommodation and living expenses for the first week that I am here. That’s one perk plus I get to rub elbows with unearthly women. And did I tell you that the hotel was a heaven and that I could eat all the bacon and french toast I want for breakfast? I almost forgot the pleasures of being served and waited on.

I was chewing and swallowing, (a motion that now requires all my attention lest I chomp using the wrong teeth and food get into my front cuspid… it will be a disaster) and thanking god for my blessings when I reached for my glass of mango juice.. then it hit me that am not at home.

It requires a lot of effort to appreciate the ‘things’ that I have now… maybe because they don’t really amount to anything… when you’re away from home, even mango juice does not taste as sweet.

It’s a very stressful times we’re in. We need to make a decision that will change our live’s course and the level of pollution in our systems. Jude got a job offer from a BPO in Makati. I have been a little unlucky in making Cebu firms to think am a capable professional. Jude’s first option is to go to Makati and start fresh and just after he signed the contract, offers from other firms came up. Life is always like that.

I have cried me a river while he have drowned kegs of beer. But nothing makes us escape our presentiment — it looms so large before us… then came Prison Break. Ha! If you have not seen it, go to the nearest Muslim kiosk and demand for a copy.

We watch 2 to 3 episodes in a night, yeah, I am that disciplined. I get so engrossed in the story that my central processor would cut off all other processes, even breathing.

I can’t spill the plot here. Just do yourself a favor and get a copy but don’t blame me if you miss sleep, work and sex. Those are just the initial symptoms.

Small fortune entails a lot of hard work. Large fortune entails a lot of LUCK, thus spoke the venerable old Chinese man at the dining table. He is giving me the lowdown on living expensive.. er, expenses in Makati.

I could only bob my head in agreement as I try to bar the grim images of suffering that are playing in my head like film noir.

I was the lucky winner to a lottery and the prize is a round-trip ticket to the hell city. Actually, I was interviewing for some post unknown to me in some sky rise in the Philippine’s commerce and finance capital: Makati.

At some point, the country manager left me with documents to read while he went to bust some neurons with the founding members. So there I was sitting in his office, looking at the motivational frames and moved a little closer to the window to see… buildings! I don’t see mountains and undulating vessels at sea. It must be lonely being in that posh office without a view.

Two days after, I was ecstatic to board the plane back to my island of infernal sunshine.

Nothing fuels creativity more than boredom.

Aren’t they neat? And because I could not use my fingers at all (I don’t think anyone can do anything with nails that long), I begged Una to press the camera.

My NEW DO

I have been feeling out of sorts.. deflated ego and self-confidence down the drain. Someone suggested highlights and so… I let the hairstylist run away with the scissors.

Side note: He is a straight male, not gay.

PS
Una: Ayaw lang gamita imo new nails, mama… kay masuya man ko.

Birdy babbles and points to this and that while all of us adults in the house, scratch our heads and ask back: WHAT? Birdy starts to scream in this whiny very irritating voice. Aaargh! I need an earplug and I so want to scream right back but the psych articles tell me it wont achieve anything so I kneel and look him in the eyes and ask him again. It’s no use.

Enter the INTERPRETER
I noticed that Una and Birdy actually talk.. in different tongues. I often see (but my lazy brain failed to register) Una scream and cry: ‘No, Birdy! Ako si Darna. Boy ka. Girl ko.’ Ah.. the original baby in the house actually understands Birdy’s ‘buyoy’ talk.

Now, every time Birdy proclaims something, we ask Una to translate and the world spins on its axis in relative peace.

NEW ROLES
My staying at home and watching the kids and catering to their whims and whimpers is driving me NUTS.. so much to the point that am reduced to my needy, crabby self. When Jude steps inside the house, I feel like flinging myself at his legs and cry: Papa, I need some hugs and lollipops but instead, I snap at him.

I need adult conversation, I need to be able to sit down and read a book without interruptions, I want to check emails without a baby whamming his pudgy hands on the keyboard, I want to be able to sip my coffee in peace.

I feel like a teenager in the throes of identity crises. I am sure I will get used to this.