I did some spring cleaning over the weekend and guess what I am disposing? Baby clothing and things. I’ve read about some mother who can never part with their kid’s things and I can understand that but I feel the need to rake more good karma by giving mine away. When I was pregnant with Una, a lot of kind-hearted mothers gave me their linens, booties and advice that it’s difficult not to return the favor – only to other new mothers this time. When Una was almost one, I thought and was confident that I would never have another child so I gave all her things to Jude’s sister. In less than a year, I got visited by the stork and I have none left. My sister in-law sent back more than what I gave her. Additional side note: some of the linens that I used are so old – they were the very linens that my older sister used when she was born (she’s now 33).

Onesies, booties and caps – all so tiny and reeking with that sweet baby smell – they make my uterus lust again. Sigh!

A spring cleaning is not complete without dusting and sweeping and waxing and I did all of the mentioned but not without a large dose of ANTIHISTAMINE. The house is now clean but I know in less than a week, it would resemble its jungle atmosphere again. What with two kids whose idea of fun is to toss their toys, shred papers and boxes and jump up and down the furniture in the living room.

What I missed most: the maid. I admit that I long for the time when I am blissfully unaware of the dishes, the dust on the sofa and the stains on our white shirts. They never existed before because of the miracle worker that was the hired help. Now, I cannot strip the bed linens or change the towels without the nagging thoughts… that it will be ME who’s going to be bent washing them afterwards.

Have I told you about the tumor, er.. the toddler that I have to lug around wherever I go? Yeah, a nanny could have carried the terrible-two Birdy half of the time. I know.

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann’d:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

~ Christina Georgina Rossetti

Another one from Rossetti.. I think I like her better than Plath:
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

(from Lady Lazarus)

more on both women tomorrow.. got to run and do some left-brain things.

When Adam found his rib was gone
He cursed and sighed and cried and swore
And looked with cold resentment on
The creature God had used it for.
All love’s delights were quickly spent
And soon his sorrows multiplied:
He learned to blame his discontent
On something stolen from his side.

And so in every age we find
Each Jack, destroying every Joan,
Divides and conquers womankind
In vengeance for his missing bone.
By day he spins out quaint conceits
With gossip, flattery, and song,
But then at night, between the sheets,
He wrongs the girl to right the wrong.

Though shoulder, bosom, lip, and knee
Are praised in every kind of art,
Here is love’s true anatomy:
His rib is gone; he’ll have her heart.
So women bear the debt alone
And live eternally distressed,
For though we throw the dog his bone
He wants it back with interest.

~ John Hollander

I wrote this one down on a piece of paper and slipped it under Jude’s door. His note the next morning: John should be shot for being a rat.

Lie back, daughter, let your head
be tipped back in the cup of my hand.
Gently, and I will hold you. Spread
your arms wide, lie out on the stream
and look high at the gulls. A dead-
man’s-float is face down. You will dive
and swim soon enough where this tidewater
ebbs to the sea. Daughter, believe
me, when you tire on the long thrash
to your island, lie up, and survive.
As you float now, where I held you
and let go, remember when fear
cramps your heart what I told you:
lie gently and wide to the light-year
stars, lie back, and the sea will hold you.

~Philip Booth

I came across a dog-eared and care-worn (as usually the case) poetry book in one of the dustiest shelves in the UP library. It introduced me to many American poets that our highschool lit teacher never had the chance to introduce us to. It felt like hugging a buddy after a long time of absence. The above is one of the many less famous poems that hit me… in the right spots, I guess.

In the coming days, I will be posting here the other gems that I picked along my dusty sojourn into the hearts and minds of these quaint acquaintances of mine.

It’s Friday night. I rush off to the mall to pick some alcohol. A friend just texted me that she needs a couch to lounge and cry on. It’s laundry night but not today, having a friend over is reason enough to celebrate – yeah, add the pain to the joy. Life is a box of chocolates – you’ll never know what you’re going to get: bittersweet, dark, milk and my dreaded combo: strawberry and mint. Life is generally sweet with a dash of salt and fiery pepper every now and then and today, I have all the reason in the world to BINGE. I am seeing the dentist for a new wire tomorrow and that means, back to soft foods in the following days.

In less than an hour I have done all of the following:
1. ate dinner: rice, sautéed pork and chicken with beans, shanghai rolls, brownies and boiled bananas
2. smoked 2 sticks
3. drowned a glass of margarita
4. ate a large bag of potato chips
5. marathon SMS

And am watching TV while doing all of the above. It’s a Korean soap and after a quick synopsis from my sister, am following the story as if I have seen the previous installments.

I should do this more often.