I should stop doing this – this need to fill every vacuum, this tendency to rationalize every action, to vocalize every wonderment and urge, to stylize every philosophy.

1. Your forwarded messages will not work for sure. I just want you to send something that you wrote yourself but if you do not have anything with sense to say then you had better not touch that keyboard and mouse.

2. Stop asking me como esta usted? I am fine but if you continue doing that I’ll get so pissed I’ll answer you with curses translated in different languages.

3. Don’t call me just because you are horny. It’s not flattering.

4. Never ask me to stop whatever I am doing to talk to you. There are a lot of pressing matters in the world and… need I say more?

5. You are cute but puppies are too and both can get annoying at times so leave me alone when I say scoot.

To further my culinary skills, I dug up an old recipe book and got my flour board dusty with actual flour and cinnamon powder and yeast. Five hours of slaving in my tiny kitchen – kneading and warding off little fingers from the tempting brown sugar and golden raisins and I got rewarded by lovely cinnamon rolls.

Don’t be daunted by the five hours, active time is less than an hour and the rolls are so nice and tasty. The caramelized brown sugar and the toasted raisins went so well with the cinnamon… and breads made from yeast smell so differently wonderful. This bread is really easy to make. Honestly, I don’t follow recipes… or more like I CANNOT follow because my clumsy self always mess up the measurement and my other half always likes to experiment.

I’ll try other things this weekend. My pies are good but never great – the crusts are never flaky enough so I’ll make all sorts of pies and maybe some jelly rolls with praline. The challenge with jelly rolls is the meringue which I have more or less mastered. Really, I have.

HIS: Superfluous? What in the fuck? You just make up words to fit your own taste? You seem very creative, (impressed).
I am looking for the love of my life. The one person I could spend the rest of my life with. Without having to look over my shoulder to make sure she is true. A best friend, partner in crime, a buddy, of the opposite sex.
At times I am not very approachable, more than that I work very long hours and do not find it fun to look for the love of my life in a bar. Any of these making any sense yet? Let me know what you think.

MINE: We all start out that way – always with the best intentions. We look for that smart, pretty somebody we can build the rest of our tomorrow with. Didn’t we all? But humans are a complicated, convoluted species. Most of us do not end at being smart and pretty. Being smart can mean a sharp mind and tongue – an argumentative partner who would contest you on every subject although it does not necessarily follow that being quick-witted qualifies you to be a virago. And pretty is an ephemeral quality – we all grow old, have our share of the bad-hair-days, accumulate cellulites and wrinkles.

I started with those two qualities because as I have observed, they are more often (than not) the bedrock of friendship and other forms of intimate relationship. (You cannot deny it; you told me you find me attractive and later discovered me smart.) I know that later on, you will discover that your wit is no match to mine and you will require other things from me – ability to keep house, cook meals (for the 2 of us and later on, for a really large crowd), get along with your family, get along with myself without your interference because you are very busy with what-nots…plus, you will need for me to be your ‘dream’ sex partner.

“…make sure she is true.” How true can one get? I am real and so are my contradictory feelings. I love and hate in equal measure. It doesn’t mean that because I adore you, I am blind to your frailty, to your imperfections. And if I am allowed to be true through and through, will you give me the license to say and act out my anger, my madness and my melancholia?

I realize that we are not looking for someone who understands us – we are looking for someone who will tolerate us – our mean ways, irrationalities and the multiple wicked selves that we hide under false smiles and tepid grace.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not saying that it is human nature to be evil.

I don’t really think I am making sense. Do I?

The new man of steel.

Yummy.